I have wanted knee-high black leather high heeled boots for I would say a better part of 7 years. Over a third of my life, then, has been spent pining/hunting for the perfect pair of black boots.
I found them.
My mom was in town this last weekend and there was a ridiculously giant sale at Macy's on shoes. Not a little sale, mind you. They took all their shoes from last season, found an abandoned space in the mall and set up tables and tables of shoes. I see the sign: "EVERY SHOE 19.99." No fucking way. My mother, being the skeptic as she is, couldn't possibly believe that EVERY shoe could be 19.99, so when I picked up the boots she said, "Those are not shoes, they are boots." Of course when I asked the man putting Nine West pumps onto a shabby card table three pairs at a time if the boots really were 19.99 he replied dolefully, "Yes....every shoe."
I decided to try on the boots.
But I must preface.
The reason I have never been able to buy black boots is not because I've never had enough money, nonono. I simply have not been able to fit into them- my calves have always been just a touch too big. Invariably the zipper on every boot I ever tried on would get about halfway up the calf (the part where there isn't any muscle) and then would get stuck. I tried to suck my calf in, point my toes so as to change the length of the muscle, but always ended up feeling worse about my life because my calves were too muscle-y. And my calf ended up looking like a busty woman spilling out of a corset made for Paris Hilton. My attempts never worked: until this time.
So yes, the boots I bought on super-sale "fit". Sometimes I have the urge to suck the calves in, and the boots are pretty much vacuum sealed onto the Cougar Calves. But they fit, dammit. And I look hot.
I decided today would be a great day to wear the boots. It's cold, I was doing a reading in front of people for my Creative Writing class, and I wore cute charcoal gray trousers. The boots were perfect in every way for the first 6 hours of wearing them. The last 4 didn't go quite as well.
Home now, I still have the feeling on the bottom of my foot that I've been dancing for 10 hours. The balls of my feet are also swollen. SWOLLEN. I didn't realize it was possible.
As Lewis mentioned to me, though, after a certain amount of time things just need to end. Moderation really is the key, I guess.
I'm still learning.
2 comments:
I have always had the same problem. And then when I finally did find a pair I thought was suitable (Target. $22.95), my sister said I looked like a prostitute. I hope this isn't your fate.
interesting, because Michael Willis my football player, said "those are hooka boots...but you look fly, girl, I see whatchyou doin'" i have his approval, so i don't feel too bad.
and, kelsey just hasn't found the right boots.
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