Better Safe

At this point in my academic career, it is safe to say that I know MLA format like the back of my hand. When a student comes into my office and asks how to do their Works Cited page for a paper, I go to the whiteboard with confidence in my citation skills. Sometimes though, I second guess myself- like the other day.
The good news is a couple years back I had to get a book that has citation styles for MLA, Chicago, and APA (score), so all I had to do was walk across the room and grab it off my shelf. I haven't used it in close to a year, it's just been moved from shelf to shelf. When I picked it up this time, though, I found a glaringly green sticky note on it that said in my handwriting, "Better safe than sorry-" I could only assume that I wrote it in a moment when I was trying to decide what to do with it when I was moving, deciding eventually that it would be a good idea to take it "just in case."
That phrase though has been rolling around in my brain ever since I saw that note to myself. Yes, while things like that book, good friends, a stable (relatively) bank account, makes sure that I always have a safety net for my life, sometimes you can't be safe. It's just not possible. You can prepare all you want, be cautious down to the last penny, but sometimes life gives you shit that even the most pious and well prepared people can't handle.
I was talking to my mother (once again, the keeper of much wisdom) about the theology going around these days that if you do the right things, if you just have enough FAITH (whatever that looks like) good things will come to you. After we both agreed that was complete crap, my mom, while walking into the Onion on the North Side of Spokane said, "Sometimes you just have to accept the fact that your agenda and God's agenda don't work out. And God's not punishing you for not being faithful enough, not at all. My daughter will never be well. And that sucks. What can happen though is we can continue living our lives and hope that she has a long and happy life in whatever situation her health is. You can't be angry or mad at yourself because that will get you nowhere. It just happened."
Sometimes we can never be safe enough. I can write as many sticky notes as I want, pray as hard as I can, but life happens. Brelin is sick in the context of everyone else's standards. (Even though she might say she's feeling better this day or that day.) But that doesn't mean I'm allowed to be pissed, or sad, or depressed forever. Prepare, but don't count on much of anything.
It is nice, though, to have that book.