For one of my classes, a memoir reading class taught by a totally badass professor, we read a book called Fierce Attachments by Vivian Gornick. Most of the people in my class didn't like the book because there wasn't a "story" but I enjoyed it because it was about the attachment (mostly volatile) that she has with her mother. While I don't have any large conflicts with my mother like this woman had, I realize more and more every day that I am becoming her.
The woman is 51 years old and just broke her elbow while taking a "brisk walk" with my father. She likes to remind people of this event and add that, "Exercise will kill you." But, what I noticed more than anything is that I don't think I've ever seen my mother so frustrated as when she had to ask me for help turning the ignition key in her car. She was pissed. She is fiercely independent, and she has led me to believe the same things.
What she's taught me:
You not only can do anything a man can do, but you can probably do it faster and better.
You can multitask- men cannot.
Only ask men for help when you need it- otherwise you simply look pathetic.
From when I was fourteen: "Men are like buses, if you wait around long enough another one will come by. So no need to worry."
Trim the fat of your life: you can't spend your life dealing with other people's problems. If that means you have to be the bitch in the relationship and leave, then leave.
My mom is the shit. And, I feel like she has made me a somewhat intimidating person. But, I'm over it.
Gornick's quote from her mother reminded me so much of mine: "When a woman can't tell a man to go to hell, I have noticed, she is often crazy."
I have to agree.
1 comment:
our mom is awesome. and you are so much like her, thus making you awesome as well. i had to pull the keys from the ignition twice while i was there...i think it almost killed her. :) and i love the bus quote. so true. love you and miss you.
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