new blog!

hey ---

due to unexpected asian porn hacking, i have a new blog.

go to www.sarahwithanairuh.blogspot.com for the new musings.

thoughts along the road

Sunday night, July 25

you know it's bad when you can smell yourself, and your self doesn't smell good.

i'm in a hotel in charlotte, NC with charita (road dawg extraordinaire) 100 or so miles into the slog back to baltimore. tomorrow, 8 hours of driving the 14' truck with no cds and no co-pilot.

last night in greenville was awesome - i was able to see my friends and my favorite relatives and i realized that visiting really is the best way to appreciate the South. a few days, then i'm good to go. and in typical sarah weakley fashion, i managed to drink far too much and this morning came a tad too early.

notably, we managed to see both a seersucker shirt (on my friend jamie) and white linen pants (on my friend graham). southern mission accomplished.

oh(!) and i bought my mayonnaise. Duke's. i don't care how unhealthy it is, i love mayonnaise on sandwiches. and for a girl who eats as many tuna sandwiches as i do, it matters. there is also 100 calories in 1 tablespoon.

---

Monday, July 26

8 hours of driving, ugh. i only had to put in the i-pod once, in the middle of virginia where apparently gospel radio only exists. otherwise, i heard THREE Hall and Oates songs, i did not hit any animals, and hit dc before rush hour. i gloated.

charita and i also unloaded all my crap from the u haul in under and hour, went to home depot to get the plywood for my bed ( the box spring won't fit down the stairs...errrg), and then..

the only regret.

we were feeling so accomplished that at 8pm we started to put together an IKEA dresser. this project was abandoned in another hour after much swearing. do not attempt this. you will want to cut your eyes with the picture-only directions. (but we know how i feel about IKEA).

---

Wednesday, July 28

i attempted work. i sound like a phlegmy Stevie Nicks and am tired all over.

this will not bode well for the housewarming party we are throwing on friday.

helicopters and schmaltz

if you have been lucky (?) enough to be following the bachelorette this season, know that i am one of your ranks. this is one of the only seasons i have watched, and it all began so benignly -- joy and i park in front of the tv, we pick favorites and mercilessly mock the 25 dudes who were foolish enough to be humiliated on national television. it's unfortunate that now most of those voted off have become a slogan, "the weatherman," "canadian d-bag" "weird voice 'guard and protect your heart' guy," etc. poor fellas.

joy and i also knew, though, that we would end up watching every episode. and i have. am i proud? no. will i watch the finale? absolutely.

that being said, there are a few qualms:

- helicopters. with every episode, there is a helicopter date and this last episode she remarked on the romantic-ness of the helicopter date. it is as if this is the only viable form of transportation when you are dating someone. you know what would be refreshing, and truest to life? they put these two in a '99 Ford Focus with a tape deck ONLY and tell them they have to drive from pullman to the tri-cities. then we'll see who's madly in love. i say one of them bails when they are stuck behind a semi going 45 near Dusty, WA.

- background music. this only serves to make an awkward quasi-romantic situation less so. i understand that you need some audio filler when a dude is stammering out that, "uhhh...i don't usually do this...but...uh...i think i might uh...be falling for you." good lord - you came on to the show knowing you'd have to spill your guts for good tv, now hop to it.

- the frank situation. for those of you who haven't heard about this, one of the dudes got to the last three and then decided he loved his ex-girlfriend in chicago. fine, whatever. but this d-bag has the balls to cry about the situation. YOU are dumping HER. no matter how hard you cry, i will not feel sorry for you. and NO-- she shouldn't ever forgive you.

- champagne. i saw ali and chris (one of the last two) FINALLY drinking a beer together. that is life. no one drinks that much champagne unless you're christening a boat or at a new year's eve party. even then, it's bad champagne. mimosas, maybe. drink some beer -- PBR would be fine (it's union made!).

- the team psychiatrist. chris harrison (the host) usually has the heart to hearts with the bachelor/bachelorette, that's fine. but when did he become the shoulder to cry on for both ali and the other dudes who have ex-girlfriend issues? or let alone, the authority on "following your heart"? i'll make sure to give mr.harrison a call if i'm not sure i'm in a good relationship or not. he seems to have all the answers.

and finally ---

the whole premise that ali "can't find anyone" and "always gets her heart broken" and that "this is the only way to find love." she's 25. 25?! and her love life is apparently over, no hope left. well put a fork in me friends, because it looks like i'm doomed to be alone forever according to the almighty bachelorette.

if you need me, you can find me on my air mattress with my PB&J sandwich and orange juice, wallowing in my lack of romantic promise.

the King

those of you that know me know that i love sports. i write extensively on this topic, most notably my dreams of working as a sportscaster.

this dream might have been ruined last night.

not only has almost every sports journalist spent far, FAR too much time on the LeBron James free agent debacle, the 60 minute ego-fest last night was the final straw. it's as if there are no other games being played. remember the World Cup? Tennis? Baseball? (a sport i don't even particularly enjoy.) sports happen EVERY DAY. there are thousands of contests being played every day at every level, and yet the only news worthy of reporting on is where LeBron will try to win a championship for the next few years. i would've rather heard reporting on the Tri-Cities U-14 Rec League soccer game than this buffoonery. (always put your money on the Scorpions. always.)

this circus has forced me once again to turn my back on professional basketball. when there are exciting Finals (see: Lakers vs. Celtics, 2008 and 2010) my hopes rise after a three year hiatus from the game. but then, like a jilted lover who realized AGAIN that my significant other went back to their ex, i slink away -- downtrodden, ashamed that i could be so foolish.

the sensationalism is too much for me. LeBron is good, yes. we all know this. but surely there is something else.

looks like it's back to hating professional basketball. it was a good month, NBA.

*Editorial correction

* Upon a cool down and a digital tongue lashing, this blog rescinds its comments regarding 7th grade badminton partner that have been removed from the previous post. The writer was very much in rant-mode at the time, and her comments only further reflect her bitterness.
Best,
Sarah *

social media makes me...

feel bad about myself sometimes.

i'm assuming that back in the day (pre-2005) if you didn't deliberately keep in contact with someone they dropped from your mental radar. had a class together freshman year of college? cool - see ya around, maybe. high school crush? relegated to storytelling moments for social gatherings. that high school crush is getting married? i wouldn't know until they bring their wife to the reunion 20 years from now.

but now social media is making it worse, especially this "married/engaged" thing. i know, i know, i don't want to get married any time soon. in my rational head, i know that. but why must facebook continue to throw it in my face that i, in fact, am nowhere near that time? in this season of weddings, if i have to look at another slew of pictures of the bride held up by all five of the groomsman i'm going to start shoving pencils down my fingernails. that might be less painful.

can't we go back to only knowing about people's relationships when you are invited to the wedding or if you hear if second- or third-hand? and it's not like i have talked to these now married people any time within the last three years. nope. but i know they had a wedding. i also know that they recently acquired a Yorkshire terrier and went to Napa for their honeymoon.

it's masochism at this point -- i know that i don't want to look at their wedding album but i do. i can't tear myself away. so the cycle of self-deprecation continues as long as i cannot tear myself away from the wedding album of my 7th grade P.E. badminton partner to a girl he met rock-climbing.

i think it will continue to be love-hate. without social media, where will i be able to share my witty social commentary? (sarcastic)

damn you facebook! *shakes fist at heavens*

MLA, APA or creative?

the title of my mom's email to me today.

my mom is an adjunct professor at CBC for some early childhood courses, and sometimes she asks me questions about students' writing and such. mostly if she's being too much of a hard ass grader. (she used to be).

today she asked me to look over a works cited page (which these four students labeled 'Bibliography') and see if there is anything in the general realm of a citation style. there really wasn't, but this is what I had to write back to her. proof that one day i want to be a professor so i can give this kind of feedback to my students:

"Yikes.

It looks like each person did a different couple and then put them all together. The books are cited ok -- the first one is alright except the title of the book should be italicized. It looks like they attempted to use MLA format, but just started guessing when it came to the websites and articles on the websites.

The websites are painful to look at, and they should be marked down for copying and pasting a website logo in their Works Cited page. It's not that difficult to type out the website.

They probably used a MLA citation generator, but many times those can't do complicated stuff (e.g. shit from articles on a website). Hence, wrong.

if we're going on GENERALITIES, i guess give them points. but not full points. the whole thing is discombobulated.

also - it's called a WORKS CITED page, not a bibliography. you wrote bibliographies for your 4th grade report about sea turtles. (which i completely copied from national geographic, by the way).

ALSO - WIKIPEDIA?! you should outlaw that as a source. any joe blow can update that crap. it should never be quoted in a paper. you look at wikipedia when you want to figure out when the last czar of russia died, not when you're writing a college paper.

- sarah"

ducks

in a row.

when i was growing up, my mom used to say this most always prefaced with, "she/he never has her..." it was annoying, yes. but now that the time for change has come upon me, i've found myself saying this both out loud and to myself a lot lately.

briefly:

- my organization is growing and needs to get their fiscal year closed out. strategic planning meeting for development and programs in a week. i am still slightly surprised that i even use the term fiscal year regularly. slowly i'm moving towards someone that likes dealing with money that isn't mine. my personal finances? they're filed in a victoria's secret shopping bag.

- i have a place to live next year that isn't in my terrible studio apartment. put down the money and we'll move in late july, early august. it's a house. with a microwave and washer and dryer. it might just be heaven. i still have to fully plan getting my crap from south carolina, but i can't wait to sleep on a real mattress. unfortunately, that punch line won't get used anymore. a small price to pay.

- school starts in a couple of months. still working on the gross money-stuff associated with it. i should prepare now to not see my friends for the next two years. but i'll be smart when i get out of there, dammit. i will.

- i'm pondering tutoring Adult Basic Ed again. i won't have a lot of time with the commuting time and school, but i think i might. i miss teaching.

but as i think about putting all these life ducks in a row, i'm reminded that so much of life is continually out of order. people are sick. friends fall away. you are misunderstood. shit gets lost. afternoons have no agenda. stuff breaks. but i have no answers, and i'm not ever going to. there's solace in that, i suppose.

9 days

is it luck, or was it really time for me to leave my old job? i think a little bit of both.
nevertheless, 9 days after i got "let go" from ASTT, i got a new job. i'm now the operations manager of One World Education, an education/literacy organization working in both public and charter schools in D.C. if you haven't completely tuned out to my many "dream" musings, one of them was to work with a literacy organization in some fashion. and here we go -- it took a kind of roundabout way, but here i am.
check out their website at www.oneworldeducation.org. but if you don't have time the reader's digest version is this:
Students in both middle school and high school write reflections about any social issue they want and submit it to the volunteer corps of teachers and content specialists at One World Education. the issues range from globalization through a student's trip to Bhutan to AIDS in D.C. to bullying to growing up in Ghana to....
one student's reflection is chosen a month by the program team and the former teachers/PhDs/curriculum creators create a unit plan and curriculum about this issue for use in a classroom, with all the standards and such included too -- with the "ambassadors" reflection as the primary source text. really freakin cool, right?
right.
right now One World Education is working in 25 schools and has been going for 2 years. now they're building up the administration and infrastructure to get bigger and to reach more students. i'm so jazzed to be a part of this organization -- the idea is really cool and i think there's a lot of potential for growth. and the little writer inside of me smiles.
i'll be officially starting June 7.
i'm still not sure how this happens. but i'm always happy when it does.

p.s. - coming to visit the PNW in a few days -- ready for a weakley family wedding, catching up with old friends (anyone remember mike hinman, anyone?...yeah...), and heading up to camp to hopefully reassure the new camp counselors they, in fact, won't kill their campers. in the words of my mom, "i get tired just thinking about it."

see...

...what's great about getting fired is, nothing.
nope, nothing really.

-- you walk into the room and immediately know. it's like something has died. (oh wait, it's your financial stability). and then, the person who's firing you just says blahblahblahRESIGNATIONblahblahblahJUSTKEEPITFORYOURRECORDSblahblahblahQUALITYOFPERFORMANCEblahblahblahEFFECTIVEIMMEDIATELY.

-- and then this chill comes over you. it's as if someone has decided to shake your hand with an electric fence. and leave you there like the fish out of water flopping around in that mid-90s alt-rock video (the artist escapes me).
and then, all i wanted to do was throw my chair through the window. unfortunately, it was wicker so it probably would've just bounced off the window. unfortunate.

i didn't cry, i just looked down and said, "ok then." then i bolted. then i called mom and cried.

mistakes were made on my part (we'll call them 'personality clashes') and i wish them the best. (that's the politically correct thing to say, right?)

at least they waited until two days AFTER my birthday to fire me. so that's something.

p.s. no need for a pity party. just another job.

yeah, Minnesota

so, i thought that being Lutheran i would've gotten my behind to minnesota far earlier than this. i seem to have failed in that regard.
instead, i was drafted to go to a fundraising training conference for torture treatment programs, talking about sustainability in the sector, yada yada. it was good - there were a few sessions that were extremely helpful, especially the one about federal grants and how to position ourselves in the current discussion of "bending the curve" of healthcare costs that are currently driving the healthcare debate/reason behind support for the legislation and how we need to move toward a more piecemeal approach to fundraising for our issue instead of assuming that we will get all of our funding from ORRandthefactthatwecannotcontinuetostaywiththestatusquoifwewanttoreceivefederalfundinginthe futurewemustmoveforwardwithpartnersinsteadofremainingisolatedinourcentersifwearetogaintruesustainability. AAAAAANNNNND, YOU ARE NOW ASLEEP.
back? ok.
anywho, there was one fundraiser who raises $6+ million dollars a year from private foundations alone. she is a ROCKSTAR. she is even more of a rockstar because of the fact that foundation giving in the last two fiscal years has been in an insanely sharp decline - they're dropping faster than allies in Operation Iraqi Freedom circa 2003.
in the most frank and optimistic protrayal of our chances at private foundation funding in the future she gave us this gem,
"rich people are dying every day -- and you can get their money."
i haven't been this inspired in a long time.

a different kind of scary

there are times when i question why i moved to baltimore. those are few and far between. unless i'm at the DMV -- in which case i incessantly question why i moved to maryland.
if i've talked to you on the phone recently, of you've been keeping score on facebook, i've been to the Maryland DMV (they call it the MVA here) more times in the last three months than i ever want to in my entire life. i've lost my wallet, therefore having to get a new maryland state license, which took 5 trips.
and now, because i had to get a new maryland license, it is against the law for me to have a car with a title and registration in another state. another bureaucratic hurdle to get over. so far, i've had to go to the DMV four times, still no new registration (with far too much detail of the saga to write here.)
i decided on the most recent trip to go to another MVA place, this time in Essex, MD a little northwest of the city. maybe it would be better.
the Baltimore City MVA is not a pleasant experience - mostly because I feel that I could get stabbed there at any moment if for some reason I cut in line. positioned squarely in the ghetto (near joy's school, in fact), the MVA people are not only snarky, they are outright rude. uncomfortable, to say the least.
hoping the Essex office would be better, i got in the car with the sincere belief that this time, this time will be the last. i get in the insanely long line at 8:30 am and mind my own business. there is an old woman who's decided to tell her whole MVA situation to anyone who'll listen (you know those people in line), and looks for someone who will respond. it sure as hell isn't going to be me. too early for that crap.
instead, it's a rather portly middle-aged man behind her with a tigger-appliqued green polo shirt and terrible mandals. they talk about MVA business for a bit, then they talk about the state of the world.

a short paraphrase:
man: well, i think the world is coming to an end pretty soon, the signs are here. we're going in the wrong direction. do you agree?
woman: yes, but those are my personal opinions.
man: well if you agree with me why don't you tell me?
woman: because those are my per....my opinions that no one else needs to know.
man: you do agree with me -- let me hear it!...well, i'll tell you why...
sarah (in her head): oh crap, here it comes. Obama's ruining the world and he's making us socialists. i'm so not ready for this.
man: it's because the U.N. is going to shut down all the churches. i believe in the Truth. do you know the Truth...i'll tell you.
sarah: oh no...takin it the religious route. this line is far too long.

i won't go any further, but here's what it boils down to -- i couldn't escape a jehovah's witness telling this first old woman and then another woman with 4 children for two hours (!) that they are wrong, they don't know the Truth (note the capital T) and that they and their children are going to hell if they don't follow the Truth. the Truth tells them these things, the end is near.

did i mention the Truth? and that i'm going to hell?

i would've rather been rudely treated by the counter attendant and had a fear of being stabbed.

i can't win.

uh-oh (dirty words)

i'm taking it easy today - no need to do more work than i'm getting paid for, so today i'm attempting to hunker down and write this fatty scholarship application for george washington (clearly from this blog post i'm not making a lot of progress). scholarship applications are always a bunch of b.s. anyway, but this one is a career development scholarship, so i have to analyze the course i'll be taking in the fall and connect them with my current job and so forth. in two pages i have to tell them: 1.) why my coursework will enhance my current position, using specific examples from the courses as evidence (mind you, these are course i have never taken) 2.) why the duties performed in my current job will make me a better student (in courses i have never taken) and 3.) how this relationship will get my further towards my career goals (which i'm not quite sure of yet).
don't they understand that people go to grad school when they don't know what they want to be when they grow up? get with it, george washington -- don't play dumb with me.
regardless, i dug into the course descriptions and the classes i'll be taking in the fall and i've come to a few conclusions.
- i am not jazzed about taking economics AND applied statistics in the fall.
- i don't want to be in nonprofit fundraising FOREVER...it's nice now, but i dunno.
- i want to do policy research to help push for better urban education programs (a big dream, i know) and convince legislators to actually do something about it instead of letting kiddos in shitty schools with untrained and not good teachers continue to flounder.
- i want to work on Capitol Hill (or at least be involved in it for a good long while).

i took a look at a couple of policy research organizations in education, and i liked what i saw. problem is, this might be the nail in the coffin for future family gatherings with the Weakley clan. i might want to be a....LOBBYIST.
crap.
oh. good. lord. i hope andy won't disown me.

falling down on the job

the job of reading, that is.
i finally pushed through (and loved) Lush Life by Richard Price. he is one of the co-writers for The Wire (which did nothing for Baltimore's reputation), and you could tell. the dialogue was snappy and slang-filled -- it was like watching a very very well written version of a cop show. my dad would most likely like this book, as my childhood was peppered with almost every cop/detective show that has come out in last 15 years. i was pissed when they canceled Homicide: Life on the Streets. i'm pretty sure i was the only 12 year old to mourn its passing on network television.
but more than that, the book was able to follow the tracks of two detectives in New York through their frustrations: with the friend of the victim who they thought for sure did it, canvassing the housing projects for witnesses, going into the projects filled with 10 Filipino men crowded into one room, dealing with the press, the victim's family. the novel was...grimy. my junior year English teacher told us to never say, "they painted a picture." but if Price's writing is that of an artist, he would not be Bob Ross. perhaps Pollack. lots going on, slightly upset, spattered with meaning in every paragraph. and also, i haven't read a book where i have to work to figure out the mystery myself - i love putting the puzzle of a book together, and this one was excellent.
mmm...books. i've missed you.
currently reading: John Henry Days by Colson Whitehead. i LOVED his debut, The Intuitionist. read it.

ashes (happiness)

i finally was able to go to a lutheran church for ash wednesday. big ups to my Presbyterians, but i'm a Lutheran through and through.
Ash Wednesday is my favorite day in the church year for many reasons. mostly, though, it brings me back down to earth, knowing that i'm not perfect, never will be, and that i'm human. it also reminds me to come back to God, knowing that I know nothing. the ultimate humble pie-eating moment, Ash Wednesday.
this Ash Wednesday the Bishop of Delaware and Maryland, a short old guy named Theodore Schneider, gave the message. he talked of our mortality without God, not taking the grace of God in vain (which i do A LOT), and our selfishness as sin.
what i like about his section about selfishness as sin was this: that Sin is ultimately when our selves, our happiness, our fixation on "finding ourselves", doing things our way, comes before others. i am at a moment in my life where these questions come up all the time: what do i want my career to look like? do i want to move? what makes me happy? these Oprah-questions (which at her age i hope she's at least attempted to answer) are constantly around. it seems that a lot of the time i'm thinking about MYSELF. it gets exhausting.
what to do, then? how am i going to be happy? Rev. Schneider reminded me in simplest terms: happiness is not a goal, it is a byproduct. when we lose ourselves in service to others in any capacity, happiness is created. also, when we think of others first, we feel better. there is nothing more rewarding than being there in happy times, funky-blech times, sick times, and celebratory times for the people i love. i'll take those moments and conversations over constantly questioning my self and my motives. it's hard to do. and i suck at it most of the time.
but, as Rev. Schneider said, we can't look up to Him and others when we're looking at our belly button. we must remember we're not great and that others are.
ashes as a path to happiness. i like it.

the big (small) city

joy told me before i moved to baltimore that it has a reputation of being a big/little city. basically, everyone runs in the same sort of circles regardless of where you work or not. there's a federal hill crew, the canton people, the fell's point people, etc., and you always end up running into the same people if you go out on a friday night to your same spot. it's understandable, i suppose, but not expected.
living in pullman for almost four years made it impossible to go out without having some sort of semi-awkward "don't i know you?" exchange, thus considerably cutting down the pool of available date-worthy men.
but moving to baltimore gave me a clean slate. no more would i be shackled by the concept of "bro codes" that would effectively cut off a whole subset of men for me to casually date.
false.
the example is last night.
i have gone on a few dates with sweater steve. he's nice, is an engineer, got his life together. but i don't want to be his girlfriend. he works at a GINORMOUS engineering firm down here, literally 10,000 employees. so doing the math, that's roughly 5,000 to 2,500 single men. (but i digress). meanwhile, i'm pretty sure he thinks we're in a committed relationship and we're headed towards relationshipville. meanwhile, i'm running for cover. i rain-checked the poor guy this weekend to avoid any valentine's day situation, and went out last night with a friend.
the bar had slim pickin's for attractive males - they were mostly skeezy, slightly pudgy mid twenties dudes. so sarah and i just danced and had a great time by ourselves- it was excellent. then, a devastatingly handsome man approaches me and we start dancing. score one for sarah.
turns out he's an engineer at the same company as sweater steve. but who isn't, really?
we do the banter, tell him i'm from washington state, this is my friend sarah (little cute cheerleader from ohio state), yadda yadda.
well, turns out at the end of the night we get to talking again he goes, "i think i know you..." weird. i've only lived here for four months, there's no way. BUT YES. he's work friends with sweater steve, they have lunch together EVERY DAY and steve has mentioned me (the sarah from washington state). meanwhile, i have to tell him not to tell steve anything about what's conspired. but i'm honest with him, "so basically, because i've gone on a few dates with steve this will never...happen...will it?" and he replies with, "it might just be weird because steve hasn't had a girlfriend in a long time...and i see him every day..." yep, yes. opportunity squelched.
potentially going on a date with the most attractive man i've talked to since i've been here?...GONE.
i rarely have awkward social situations - i thrive on bar banter. but this situation was not salvageable. little sarah mentioned to me, "that was the most awkward conversation i've been witness to...and it wasn't even my conversation."
looks like i'm back in pullman.

snowmageddon

you all on the west coast have most likely been looking at the weather around the mid-atlantic -- shutting down DC, state of emergency, etc. yep, obama has deemed it snowmageddon. i like snowpacalypse.
either way the snow has stopped falling and the plows have begun - i'm not precisely sure where the snow will be plowed to, per se, but i'm assuming it will be plowed right over poor blue steel. she's already buried outside of charita's apartment complex because of the downfall, but there's absolutely nothing to be done. my only hope is that they don't have school tomorrow, because that means i'll have to dig my car out (which is blue steel, if you didn't already know). which i'm not jazzed about.
thankfully, though, i prepared for this event. charita's actual roommate doesn't really live here (she's with her boyfriend in fell's point most of the time) so i've moved in. charita's accepting payment in the form of me doing dishes, we both made snow weekend to-do lists, and i've introduced charita to a few new things in the past few days that i feel pretty pleased with:
1. almonds in green beans. i'm still trying to come around to the idea of canned green beans (which i think are pretty gross) so i had to add sliced almonds to the mix. mom would always put it in the frozen green beans growing up and i hated them. now, each bite of almonds made the canned version more bearable. concessions were made.
2. when harry met sally - i still have a friend here who hasn't seen it, but more importantly, this movie is beginning to be a prerequisite for my friendship. there are so many references i make on a daily basis (e.g "the white man's overbite") that no one would understand if they haven't seen the movie. i also don't enjoy making reference to something and getting to confused and awkward look in the middle as i begin laughing -- it's selfish, i know. so sue me. i've seen the movie roughly 20 times and i still get choked up at the end when she says, "and i hate you harry, i really hate you."
3. peanut butter and honey sandwiches. if it was awesome when you were seven, it will be awesome forever.
and what have i been introduced to this snowmageddon?:
1. the beauty of consulting jobs: yep, i'm getting paid sitting on charita's couch researching foundations. it really is the way to go.
2. the convenience of the Keurig single cup coffee/tea maker - i have been enjoying this for the past two days because charita doesn't drink coffee, and i'm understanding the craze. while the coffee is stronger than i am used to, it makes me only have one cup instead of 5. this is helpful.
3. the pot-smoking scene in The Breakfast Club. i've only ever seen this whole movie on TBS, not the full thing on DVD--therefore, it was censored. i now understand that Emilio Estevez dances around like a crazy person in the library because he's high. i thought it was a footloose-esque moment (which gets old quickly), but there is a reason. this enlightened me more than i thought it would.

a tiny commentary

i'm glad i can't vote in massachusetts -- hell, i don't really know where it is on a map.
but i do know that i've been hearing a lot of hubub about the Martha Coakley flop on Tuesday, and quite frankly, i'm not too worried. the supposed "super majority" that Dems had in the Senate really wasn't doing much good on healthcare reform anyhow (oh hey, public option...apparently you don't exist anymore) and not every Democrat is going to vote down party lines anyhow...effing Lieberman.
regardless, Coakley just sucked it up big time. she thought she had it in the bag, but when you suck at running a campaign and assume that people are going to vote for a Democrat because it's Massachusetts you have another thing coming. you're not Ted Kennedy. the end.
and really, Republicans are more pissed off nowadays about life in general. and you know what pissed off people do? vote. i feel like Democrats are just disheartened at this point...at least this one is.
Gail Collins continues to wittily (a word? i'm not sure, but i'm using it) come through in her analysis of the situation:
"True, she [Coakley] seemed to have the public persona of a flounder. But if warmth and charisma were a requisite for being in the Senate, three-quarters of the members would have to go home immediately. A body where Arlen Specter can be courted by both parties is not a place that puts much premium on personal charm".
Read the whole article. It proves just how ridiculous politics is...
Why am I getting myself into this mess, again? I'm not sure. Maybe so I can guarantee that I won't marry someone in politics.

screw Sarah button

things lately just have not been going my way. it's becoming typical nowadays for things to go slightly wrong, for things to not go according to plan. it's beginning to get a little old.
i'm still dealing with my stolen wallet - bank debacle which will be done tomorrow (i hope). i had to close my old bank account and open a new one, but the electronic payments that take 3-5 business days to go through to my old account now don't have any funds...because the account is closed. it's a pain in my arse.
also, things were gliding along smoothly with my UMBC grad application -- my recs had already sent me their letters and i was ready to roll. come to find out, if they do a paper rec they need another form. piss. so, i had to email them again and ask them to submit the rec online. i'm now praying that they are able to do it in the next 12 days. or else, i'm SOL for UMBC. if it gets done, i'm absolutely sending them flowers. no question.
my friend steve (ok, sweater vest steve to my family) says that sometimes he thinks that God has a "Screw Steve" button that he likes to tap on ocassion. if that is the case, it seems as though His finger's been pressed a little too hard on the "Screw Sarah" button for the last month or so.
but now we wait for grad school. and (i guess) another part of life to start.

utili-mattress (and other things learned in 2009)

too much has gone on in 2009, quite frankly. because i don't make resolutions in any far-reaching way, a short list of things i've learned (both the easy way and the hard way) will suffice. otherwise, we'd all be here for years. and i'm not THAT interesting.

- moving sucks. after moving 4 times this year, it doesn't get any more streamlined. as you all know from my ikea-related posts, creating a small life for myself has come with many hours packing and unpacking cars (both the jeep i drove for a bit and blue steel), asking friends and relatives for their trucks, and trying to buy only the necessities for living. (a relative fail given the 30-odd candles i've acquired from another ikea blackout).

- bars tend to be my natural habitat. yes, douchebags abound in every region of the country (it's not just the south, although you might think it from my posts), in every bar in this country, but i am a person enlivened by people in bars being merry and dancing foolishly. and no mom, i don't go out every weekend and get hammered, i go out to dance, observe, and laugh. and get better practice at talking to strangers.

- an air mattress as the only piece of furniture gives me even less motivation to make the bed. my utili-mattress is coffee table, chaise lounge, couch, and dining room chair. i'm always on it when i'm at my apartment, so i might as well be surrounded by blankets. soon and very soon the utili-mattress which catch on like wildfire and the furniture industry will take a huge hit. my prediction for 2010.

- if you are genuine, work hard, and make people smile your life will be even more blessed than you imagine. after moving across the country and coming back for the Weakley Holiday party, i wasn't expecting too many people to show up or care about what i'm up to. it, though, was a huge success, with people coming out of the woodwork and being genuinely happy to see me. i attribute this to 1.) the copious amounts of alcohol and 2.) Andy and I's uncanny ability as a twin team to make people laugh and throw a damn good party. if you are good, others will be good to you. i could give you many more examples of this, but i'll refrain.

- i want to spend my life getting paid to have an opinion. this, i suppose, is why Public Policy/Public Administration is so appealing to me: i want to analyze programs, figure out why they suck (or don't suck) and hopefully have someone high up (Congressmen) listen to me. a big dream -- but hey, dare to dream.

- friends matter. new ones, old ones, and ones you haven't seen in a long time. i tried this year to invest my time, energy, and thoughts cultivating and growing friendships. friends of all types saved me in my saddest and loneliest times. nothing matters more.

- money alone will not make you happy. ever.

- to take bigger and scarier risks. yep, not everything has worked out. but the sheer personal contentment i've gained by listening to my gut has paid off. and i think it always will.

- call your family. they're not going anywhere, and once i got past the teenage angst and pretentiousness the whole clan is pretty cool.

- don't open a Washington Bank of America account and move across the country.

- study for standardized tests (unless you're Andrew Smith)

- go ahead, have another beer. it won't kill you.