as i was face-stalking (what people my age do on facebook when they look at their 'friends' who they will never actually see again), i ran across the boy i had a crush on for five years of my childhood. as my usual m.o. as a kid, i had a few friends that were girls, but in class there were two boys that i hung out with all the time...and then i realized that i was in love with one of them. this changed the dynamic between us, as i was vaulted head-first into the awkward middle school feelings of female inadequacy in the face of the opposite sex. a lovely time.
childhood progressed, elementary school crush turned into daydreams of us getting married in a big church with lots of people around/coaching our children's soccer team/not having any dogs. normal stuff to think about when you're ten. there was a period in seventh grade that i wavered in my love for the boy-who-shall-remain-nameless, but for one more solid year my love remained.
and then i realized that i was a loser. i sucked at sports, and he was great at sports. oh well, can't win 'em all.
but at least i had enough balls to fess up to this right after graduation. you know, the part where you hug everyone even if you hate them? i went up to him, gave him a big hug, and said: "i just wanted to know that i had a huge crush on you from third to eighth grade. we were gonna get married. but don't worry, i'm not in love with you now." to which he said so plainly and enthusiastically: "REALLY?! i was in love with you too!"
that was all i needed. for some reason that was the perfect thing to say- obviously nothing ever would have come from that, but it's still nice to think about. i guess some sort of validation for those terrible middle school feelings. sometimes they just get away.
and damn, he got more attractive.
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