frustrated.
i rarely get frustrated, but my students today put me over the edge. there were good ones- the day started out swimmingly, talking about rhetorical analysis and what a commonplace is in an argument. i was excited. i was amped. then, my new favorite student, kendrick, came in and we talked about intercultural communication. we went through a whole chapter, i taught him a bunch of new words and concepts, and he appreciated what i did for him. i, like most people, enjoy being appreciated.
but sometimes this job is hard. athletes don't want to be in my office. they don't want to be tutored even though they know full well that i am able to help them. complaints and excuses come at me at every angle, and i'm getting a little frustrated by it. but mostly i'm frustrated because for the first time at this job, i've had to teach a white person comparative ethnic studies.
it's not that she's racist- not outwardly so. and it's also not that she doesn't understand the concepts. i could deal with her not understanding the idea of white privilege, or social identity, or something else. if that was the case, i would throw sweet books and articles at her, i would be the best damn teacher she ever had. no no.
she just doesn't care.
she did the age-old white person move when it comes to issues not directly relating to white people- "it's not like anything is going to change...i don't have the power to do anything about racism so there's no point in me caring." ARE YOU KIDDING ME????
that excuse for being ignorant, for choosing to not accept or even attempt to correct others in their stereotypes of others, is why racism happens. it's ignorant, and insulting to all people who are trying every day to open people's minds about issues beyond their little apartment. i felt like i was defending myself- and i pulled out all the stops. theorist after theorist, personal experience after personal experience. but she just gave me this look like she doesn't even want to hear what i'm saying. i just can't believe she doesn't see it. and that, on top of everything else going on in my life now, makes me frustrated.
in the words of my mother, "i just wanted to shake her."
1 comment:
I had a girl this year--beautiful and smart--who did not care. She pretended to be stupid. I yelled at her once in the hall (my yelling--kind of quiet) that if she knew how hard it has been for women, she wouldn't act so stupid. She still didn't care. Stupid boys I can tolerate, but stupid girls drive me over the edge. (keep teaching)
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