rerun

i feel like not long ago i told a short tale about struggling to put my ikea furniture together. well folks, here it is in reverse: now i'm struggling taking apart my ikea furniture and then figuring out how the hell to get it in storage in one piece for at least a few months. i had to get tarps for everything from the u-haul place (thanks, aunt danielle), and in typical sarah weakley fashion i failed miserably at purchasing the right size/amount of tarps and covers for my furniture. so...i have to go back to the store tomorrow (hopefully not to be greeted by the u-haul guy who asked for my phone number while getting rung up...that would be awkward, to say the least), and get just the straight up roll of plastic wrap and do a little wrapping of furniture and cushions ala christmas. thankfully, i am relatively competent in my skills in that arena, as i have wrapped the majority of the presents for both my father and brother since at least 1997 (when i took that role over from brelin).
getting a storage unit of my own today made me feel very adulty. i think this is proof of society making us believe we're more of adults the more shit we've aquired. frankly, i could chuck it all and be fine with it, save the bed. (yes folks, a pillow top matters) other than that, i bought cheap furniture because i'm cheap and i don't particularly care. i still regret the damn dining room table i never sat on -- there's really no point in me having a dining room table, as i don't cook and my dinners consist of cereal or a bagel. repasts nowhere near worthy of a table and four chairs (one of which ended up being drafted as my side table in my bedroom). but i digress.
mostly, though, all of this is a pain in the neck but this is yet another one of those adventures i've had that makes me feel like more of the person i'm going to be for a good long while. yes, i will be the person who sometimes takes "the path of least resistance" in the words of my mother, i will probably end up being a single person who doesn't see much use for a dining table or television, and i am a person who would rather do it herself. these traits can be good and bad, of course. but at least i'm starting to figure out a little bit of who i am. even if it just has to do with assembling and reassembling ikea furniture.

notes for the team:
- took the gre's today and ended up squarely in the middle. i'm most likely taking them again in october when i have more than four hours to study for them.
- offically leaving this state in 6 days. hallelujah.
- i have two interviews with non-profits when i get into town! one on monday the 5th and one on tuesday the 6th. hopefully one of them likes me.
- no more work in that cube. ever. (but, they have no replacement for me so i'm working remotely for a bit. free laptop, holla. which is good, considering my personal one is busted and the system recovery disk hasn't come yet...awesome.)
- shed a tiny tear when i said goodbye to my boss fran. he's my surrogate preppy dad at oconee.

press release

if i blogged every time there was a new development with the baltimore situation, i would have to start tweeting (and I will never tweet voluntarily. if i am paid to tweet, that's another story). i would also never leave the computer or get anything logistically done in a day regarding my move.
the bullets:
- waiting to hear back on an application and deposit i put down on a studio apartment in Charles Village right by Johns Hopkins. they'll get back to me tomorrow, i imagine. they want my money.
- after a slight snafu, i have to now transfer my Bank of America money from WA to a SC account. unfortunately, the WA, ID, and CA systems of BoA aren't aligned. this equals hours on the phone with customer services reps who keep repeating, "well, we can't see your washington information." I KNOW, THAT'S WHY I CALLED YOU, i want to say. use my life as a warning for your own.
- going to court friday about a really stupid expensive ticket for nudging a car. that guy was so lame.
- applying for jobs in Baltimore/D.C. like mad.
- as of now, i have 76 hours left at my job. it's getting to the point of counting down hours, after yet another snarky comment about liberals from a co-worker. the Obama shirt on the last day will be well, well worth it.

onward and upward

well folks, the AmeriCorps jobs didn't work out. that's just the way it goes sometimes. i guess i was too late signing up and all that stuff. the upside of all of this is that it finally kicked my ass into gear to do something about my life.
so i'm moving. yep, moving.
my lease is up on october 10, so i'm just gonna go to baltimore and live there until grad school. find a job, maybe take online courses (maybe not) and be happy. i'm only 22 once. yes, it will be hard, and yes, it might suck for a little while. but i'm going. i'm doing. i cannot afford to be unhappy in this place any longer. and hopefully i'll get to see joy once a week (at least on sundays).
so yep, now's the part where i plan it all out. i'm madly applying for any job in the area and hopefully will get one before i leave. if not, i'll find one.
taking the GREs here in greenville on the 26th of september, too. wish me luck. i'll be doing too many math practice problems to worry about much.
i'm excited/nervous/thrilled about my plan.

wisdom from the a-train

andy (gangsta nickname a-train) and i have been emailing back and forth from work lately and he's finally caught up on all my AmeriCorps stuff/general disdain for my current job/impatience.
while discussing the idea that most people are afraid to just go out there and do what they want to do because it's not "fiscally responsible" (note: none of these people are my close friends) he said the following. i think it's hilarious, uplifting, and soooo andy:

"i say go for it, you'll be worrying about money your whole life. besides, the US will be bankrupt and the stock market will probably ruin your 401k if you start saving now anyways. let's be real for a change. wasn't it nietzsche who said, 'live dangerously'?
probably a bad example because nietsche died insane, alone, and with syphilis. but you get the drift."

so wise.

solace

i'm freaking out, and it's literally only been a little over a week until i decided on this AmeriCorps adventure. an update:
- found out i needed another essay and self-reflection letter for a whole slew of positions in Baltimore. finished the essay and stuff, emailed it on Wednesday night, and waiting to get my transcripts and background check from Washington. now that i add the essay and transcripts to the application, i feel WAAAAAY better about it. i'm hoping to hear back sometime next week from them. their positions begin on September 6th, so i know that they're looking to hire people soon. woot.
that's the news about the job. in order to placate this massive amount of stress that is admittedly completely caused by my own brain, i have found a remedy that seems to work well.
Whitney Houston.
some people find solace in food, some in running 12 miles (gross)...i have found it in Whitney. don't ask me why. but, dancing and trying to belt out "So Emotional" has not only gotten me through the work week that continues to blow, but has also calmed me down. i remember that it's only been a little over a week and that i'm very qualified. and that i'm much better at tutoring kids than singing like Whitney Houston.
also, things could be worse: i could've been married to Bobby Brown and on crack. so there's that.
on a side note: i hope that Whitney has a rockin comeback. she's so freakin good.
side note 2: go to www.grooveshark.com and you can listen to any song you want any time. listen to "So Emotional" and dance around. an oft-forgotten Whitney stunner.

impatience

once again, i feel one of my greatest character flaws has reared its ugly head once again. impatience has now overtaken my life after my ROCKIN weekend in baltimore with ms. b.

i've applied to now 7 official AmeriCorps positions in the DC/Baltimore area, and i want to go back so desperately, mostly because joy thinks i'm funny :) it was so refreshing to be with someone who knows you, where you don't have to continually feel like you're explaining yourself, where it's ok to be who you are. it's liberating.

i got back at midnight last night to arise at 445 this morning - needless to say, everyone at work noticed. when i checked myself in the mirror at work i thought i had mascara smeared under my eyes...but no, the dark circles didn't go away. and i was working on the monthly turd -- making me even more antsy than usual. there was a small part of me that wanted to make the grand "i quit" gesture. but that would be foolish, as i would be waiting around in greenville for an AmeriCorp position for who knows how long. as i was telling brelin earlier in discussing my waiting around for my application to get reviewed and then get a call : i really hope this Oprah "power of positive thinking" bullshit works. because if it does, i'm golden.

i feel qualified. i feel like i would be a good candidate for these jobs. it's not like i applied to become a financial analyst. but i have no idea how many people applied for each position, which does not help me gauge my cofidence in any way. could someone just give me a rough estimate? then i can know how hopeful to be.

yes, this is all i've thought about all day. and will continue to think about until i hear anything back from these jobs. it is maddening.

not just a teacher

i usually go to yoga classes about 4 times a week if i'm lucky. i've gotten to the point now where i have a good system in place where i have planned the week around these events. tuesdays and thursdays are saved for liz from 7-8:30-- her classes are always a staple. she co -owns the studio with her husband brian, who founded the place about 4 years ago. i had never taken one of his classes because it was always a little too early and i couldn't make it home because of my freakishly long commute to work at a job i don't enjoy. but that is a side note.
today, though, i went to his class. i left work early (don't worry mom, i'm not charging for that hour) and decided to take a stab at brian's class. it is the same style as liz's class i LOVE and i need to switch up my life.
it was awesome. a lot of the same poses, but more intense. i can't feel any muscles in my body at the moment, and it is difficult to lift my arms (think John McCain waving).
the metaphor i use is this:
let's say it's 1985 and you've decided you want the most rockin perm on the block. you get out of the salon feeling less than good about it -- not your best decision, and clearly it shows you're not putting your all into salvaging this hair scenario. liz (tuesday and thursday teacher) is your best friend who looks at you and says, "oh sweetie...that's no good. but here, let's fix it." she is calming, she will help you breathe through this stress. she makes you feel like a million dollars, even though you look like a giant pile. brian (the teacher today) is your best friend who goes, "dear GOD what happened?! your hair looks like shit...get over here, let's fix this mess. you're doing fine, just breathe...there we go." you're still getting your hair fixed, but you're thinking about what you can do and trying perhaps a little harder yourself. no need to be placated-- you don't need that crap.
the same message gets across, the same muscles get worked, and yet a whole new perspective.
sometimes i need to be reminded that change is good - even if i end up waving like McCain.