the christmas/graduation part of the holidays is over, and for the past few days i've been doing a whole lot of nothing. it's not too bad. i'm trying to somewhat vibe will crowley who, and i quote, "just spent a lot of time alone. which i like." we'll see if i can ever get there. i doubt it.
i feel as though there is not any coherent narrative way to wrap up these last few weeks, which in all honesty have seemed like months. so i guess a bulleted-type thing will have to do.
- i said goodbye to a lot of people. it was really sad, and i only really almost cried when i hugged my friend keith, drove jamie back to her apartment in pullman before she left for new york (i don't know when i will see her again), and when i hugged my freakishly smart and lovely volleyball player kimika and my favorite student-athletes of all time, michael willis and kendrick dunn.
i for real cried while i turned in my keys to work for the last time: walking out of bohler gym while the place was completely deserted and crossing by the football practice field by the library. i had walked that path to the elevator thousands of times during my time at wsu. and i still remember walking up those stairs to todd hall for my first HD 101 class of freshman year, panting and thinking, "my GOD how do people walk up these?" two weeks later, i discovered the elevator. success.
- i drank in excess only one time in my "sarah says goodbye to the palouse" time. i was carried home by my firefighter friends ted and jon. a fitting end, i suppose.
- i graduated. the ceremony was sweet except for the bitter seattle times owner complaining about his industry going down the tubes. andy's text to me during his commencement, "wow. this guy's a dick." couldn't have said it better myself. my father wore flannel and fell asleep during the commencement. my sister wore her Ugg boots and i still love her. my mother ironed my gown in the hotel room before we left. some things really never change.
- i packed my entire life in moscow up in 5 hours. i should have been better prepared.
- i wrapped andy's and brelin's christmas present in newspaper this year. a first. i say that i am helping the environment, but really i didn't want to get the wrapping paper from under my parents' bed out. pathetic.
-i watched movies and cried. the notebook on abc family by myself (because dementia is sad) and the curious case of benjamin button (because growing young/old and getting dementia-ish is sad).
- i drove all the way home from pullman with a broken thermostat in the snow. this means that the windows inside my car were freezing, forcing me to scrape my window so i could drive. thankfully i didn't have to change lanes very much.
- andy bought the john mayer live album for me and i found O.A.R.'s live album while packing. listening to them religiously.
-nancy bought me martini glasses. because graduation matters.
- i had a surreal experience while at the semi-annual sale at victoria's secret on monday- it was like that episode of friends where monica beats up the woman for the sample sale wedding dress. being there alone surrounded by dazed boyfriends and ravenous women looking for bras made me thankful once again for having a male twin. he might not be that nice to me, but at least i don't have to fight him for undergarments.
- i procured myself a date for my friends' wedding january 3rd-- my most favorite and attractive ex-boyfriend will. he will look nice if someone takes pictures and he's a hilarious dancer. i hope he doesn't back out on me. otherwise it's smith-- who doesn't really want to go. in fact, when i told him he didn't have to go with me he whooped. i have never heard him whoop before.
- i rescheduled my appoinment to shadow and then hopefully get signed on with Washington CAN january 6th. it's becoming real.
time to get geared up for the last eve-eve party i will be attending. a little sad.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
proof
i drank my way through this semester and got a 4.0.--proof that i needed to be done with college.
it's not as if grades really mean anything except for the fact that i can do school. woot. but it's nice sometimes, the validation. i wonder where it will come from in the future.
...now to nurse my hangover.
it's not as if grades really mean anything except for the fact that i can do school. woot. but it's nice sometimes, the validation. i wonder where it will come from in the future.
...now to nurse my hangover.
Friday, December 5, 2008
miles
one of the group members for my black pop culture class is a guy named miles. this is a CES 336 class, which counts for my minor. most of the people in the course are either CES majors or minors. it's a nice, happy, diverse club. i am one of the only white girls in class. it's a lovely change.
there are also students in the class who are not majors or minors- this course fulfills at Tier III requirement for graduation. needless to say, some of these students stick out like sore thumbs. those who are not in the "club" of CES folk look like scared puppies- and most of them are white as well. honestly, they probably haven't seen that many brown people in a WSU class before. the class is loud, boistrous, and out of the ordinary. it's "edutainment" as KRS-One (a rapper, listen to his stuff) calls it. i love it.
for this semester we were put into groups for the dreaded final group project. we did not get to choose our groups and i happened to end up in the only all white group (a change for WSU). we're writing about political hip hop-- i promised myself we wouldn't be lame.
while i immersed myself in the lyrics of KRS-One, Public Enemy, and scholarly work on hip hop (yes, it's out there and a growing field) we asked Miles to do his piece on the music composition of hip hop-- the sampling, the disco rebellion, the scratching, etc. we knew he was a trumpet major so i was pretty excited to see what he came up with, considering in know nothing about music composition.
this skinny white kid who comes in every day blasting jazz on these ginormous headphones killed it. he downloaded this virtual dj thing with turntables you can scratch on your computer and demonstrated how to sample stuff. he made a break beat to play while the rest of us were giving our presentation. he put on the gangsta look, made sure we all had our MC names and taught us how to properly hold a mic like an MC and how to scratch records. he was phenomenal. his name is miles raker so he went by dj moon raker- so brilliant.
as he was going through his thing the class couldn't stop laughing- they loved it because they wouldn't expect this to come from a skinny white kid, and miles bought in to the whole dj persona. while not a gangsta in any way that you would imagine, miles might be the most gangsta of them all because he did his thang. skinny white kid with sweet sampled break beats...who woulda thunk it.
there are also students in the class who are not majors or minors- this course fulfills at Tier III requirement for graduation. needless to say, some of these students stick out like sore thumbs. those who are not in the "club" of CES folk look like scared puppies- and most of them are white as well. honestly, they probably haven't seen that many brown people in a WSU class before. the class is loud, boistrous, and out of the ordinary. it's "edutainment" as KRS-One (a rapper, listen to his stuff) calls it. i love it.
for this semester we were put into groups for the dreaded final group project. we did not get to choose our groups and i happened to end up in the only all white group (a change for WSU). we're writing about political hip hop-- i promised myself we wouldn't be lame.
while i immersed myself in the lyrics of KRS-One, Public Enemy, and scholarly work on hip hop (yes, it's out there and a growing field) we asked Miles to do his piece on the music composition of hip hop-- the sampling, the disco rebellion, the scratching, etc. we knew he was a trumpet major so i was pretty excited to see what he came up with, considering in know nothing about music composition.
this skinny white kid who comes in every day blasting jazz on these ginormous headphones killed it. he downloaded this virtual dj thing with turntables you can scratch on your computer and demonstrated how to sample stuff. he made a break beat to play while the rest of us were giving our presentation. he put on the gangsta look, made sure we all had our MC names and taught us how to properly hold a mic like an MC and how to scratch records. he was phenomenal. his name is miles raker so he went by dj moon raker- so brilliant.
as he was going through his thing the class couldn't stop laughing- they loved it because they wouldn't expect this to come from a skinny white kid, and miles bought in to the whole dj persona. while not a gangsta in any way that you would imagine, miles might be the most gangsta of them all because he did his thang. skinny white kid with sweet sampled break beats...who woulda thunk it.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
exams
my life for the past 3 1/2 years has been defined by exams-- essay exams most notably. there are usually about 3 prompts you can choose from, and i try and remember just about everything i've learned up to that point, making sure to remember the right page numbers and such in order to be great. most of my grade in a course is dependent upon how well i can write (legibility is always an issue as well) in fifty minutes. as if fifty minutes will do for a topic as big as "Explain Barack Obama's election in the context of colorblind racism." yeah right, fifty minutes will do.
today though, oh today, i took my final in-class exam of college.
the good news was, i went to lunch and had a delicious beer right before the test. a BIG beer. it was a delicious honey ale from portland. i couldn't pass it up. because of this fact, and possibly due to the elation of my circumstance, the bullshit flowed like wine. i figured, "i might has well go out with a bang here...i never have had anything in my system when taking an exam before. let's see."
also, i can do essay exams in my sleep. apparently i'm hardwired to write them.
i also used the phrase "hunky-dory" in the essay. i hope my teacher doesn't mark me down for that phrase because it's weird and she's puerto rican. we shall see. at this point though, i've stopped caring.
today though, oh today, i took my final in-class exam of college.
the good news was, i went to lunch and had a delicious beer right before the test. a BIG beer. it was a delicious honey ale from portland. i couldn't pass it up. because of this fact, and possibly due to the elation of my circumstance, the bullshit flowed like wine. i figured, "i might has well go out with a bang here...i never have had anything in my system when taking an exam before. let's see."
also, i can do essay exams in my sleep. apparently i'm hardwired to write them.
i also used the phrase "hunky-dory" in the essay. i hope my teacher doesn't mark me down for that phrase because it's weird and she's puerto rican. we shall see. at this point though, i've stopped caring.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
cemented
for the last month or so, graduation day and the thought of not having school anymore is exhilirating and scary. i'll just say it: the thought of graduating, still not having a job, and working at bed, bath and beyond with my degree (magna cum laude, honor's college, the whole nine yards) basically makes me piss my pants.
knowing this, i've been thinking about the possibility of somehow sticking around here and working in the athletic department: maybe extending my job at least until may so i can find gainful employment, or applying for an academic counselor position that will be left when my colleague Anna has a baby in February. these are great opportunities. if i work full time i would be able to at least start on a master's paid for by WSU, and i would get some good experience that would help me land another job later. and really, what's two more years here? it can't be that bad.
but yes, it CAN BE.
the last two nights have proven to me without a doubt that i have to get the hell out of here as fast as possible. and it's not that these events are in and of themselves terrible, or reason to make a move. but they were, "the straw that broke the camel's back" as it were.
i am a morning person, despite the complete uncoolness that goes along with being a morning person. if i've made the decision to wake up, i'm up, ready to rock. the only reason i can sleep for days while on breaks from school is because i can. but at school i wake up at 7:30 every school day and start it off. because of this, regardless of what's going on, i make sure to get at least 7 hours every night. these are precious hours, all of which have been violated the past two nights.
tuesday night: i'm happily sleeping in my bed, and all of a sudden i here this violent thump-crash followed by a car-horn blaring outside my window. i live on the third floor on the corner of the two main drags of moscow, so i'm used to traffic noise lulling me to sleep. but this time, something had ran into the building right next to mine and the horn did not stop for HALF AN HOUR. i'm pissed. i'm assuming that it will stop, and once the cops and EMS come it does. sweet release. i'm ready to fall back asleep. BUT NO. immediately after this some sort of saw-type weed whacker sound went on and off for the next hour or so. i moved to the living room, watched sportscenter for an hour, and moved myself to the couch to sleep there. it's farther from the window so i could fall asleep. i got four hours of solid sleep, and the next morning i go outside to find a snowplow and EMS still directing traffic. i have no idea what happened.
last night: again, happily sleeping away after watching two reruns of sex and the city on tbs and writing a short paper. andy and alyssa went to the bars (yes mom, people go to the bars on wednesdays, they're not drunks. it was margarita night and i would've gone too) and i went happily to sleep at 12:30. a solid 7 hours of sleep was in my future. perfect.
i wake up sometime in the middle of the night to andy and alyssa talking loudly about something. from what i remember it was andy's usual semi-buzzed rant: how corporations are destroying the world, how he hates his major and study because it doesn't help anyone (too late for that shit, andy, is what i want to say to him), and that people in general are stupid. the usual things that i study every day (racism, classism, etc) and would gladly have talked to him about at a reasonable hour. BUT IT'S 2:30 IN THE MORNING. apparently they forgot i lived there. i was PISSED. i walk out of my room, don't even open my eyes and say, "could you not yell about polymers?"
i woke up this morning at 7:30 to my alarm. only 4 1/2 hours of solid sleep.
i can't do this anymore. i can't live with people who come in drunk on a weekday and i can't sleep. i can't deal with my apartment shaking every time a semi drives by. i just can't do it.
so whether i end up being a barista for two years in seattle, i'll do it. my mind is made up. thanks apartment building.
knowing this, i've been thinking about the possibility of somehow sticking around here and working in the athletic department: maybe extending my job at least until may so i can find gainful employment, or applying for an academic counselor position that will be left when my colleague Anna has a baby in February. these are great opportunities. if i work full time i would be able to at least start on a master's paid for by WSU, and i would get some good experience that would help me land another job later. and really, what's two more years here? it can't be that bad.
but yes, it CAN BE.
the last two nights have proven to me without a doubt that i have to get the hell out of here as fast as possible. and it's not that these events are in and of themselves terrible, or reason to make a move. but they were, "the straw that broke the camel's back" as it were.
i am a morning person, despite the complete uncoolness that goes along with being a morning person. if i've made the decision to wake up, i'm up, ready to rock. the only reason i can sleep for days while on breaks from school is because i can. but at school i wake up at 7:30 every school day and start it off. because of this, regardless of what's going on, i make sure to get at least 7 hours every night. these are precious hours, all of which have been violated the past two nights.
tuesday night: i'm happily sleeping in my bed, and all of a sudden i here this violent thump-crash followed by a car-horn blaring outside my window. i live on the third floor on the corner of the two main drags of moscow, so i'm used to traffic noise lulling me to sleep. but this time, something had ran into the building right next to mine and the horn did not stop for HALF AN HOUR. i'm pissed. i'm assuming that it will stop, and once the cops and EMS come it does. sweet release. i'm ready to fall back asleep. BUT NO. immediately after this some sort of saw-type weed whacker sound went on and off for the next hour or so. i moved to the living room, watched sportscenter for an hour, and moved myself to the couch to sleep there. it's farther from the window so i could fall asleep. i got four hours of solid sleep, and the next morning i go outside to find a snowplow and EMS still directing traffic. i have no idea what happened.
last night: again, happily sleeping away after watching two reruns of sex and the city on tbs and writing a short paper. andy and alyssa went to the bars (yes mom, people go to the bars on wednesdays, they're not drunks. it was margarita night and i would've gone too) and i went happily to sleep at 12:30. a solid 7 hours of sleep was in my future. perfect.
i wake up sometime in the middle of the night to andy and alyssa talking loudly about something. from what i remember it was andy's usual semi-buzzed rant: how corporations are destroying the world, how he hates his major and study because it doesn't help anyone (too late for that shit, andy, is what i want to say to him), and that people in general are stupid. the usual things that i study every day (racism, classism, etc) and would gladly have talked to him about at a reasonable hour. BUT IT'S 2:30 IN THE MORNING. apparently they forgot i lived there. i was PISSED. i walk out of my room, don't even open my eyes and say, "could you not yell about polymers?"
i woke up this morning at 7:30 to my alarm. only 4 1/2 hours of solid sleep.
i can't do this anymore. i can't live with people who come in drunk on a weekday and i can't sleep. i can't deal with my apartment shaking every time a semi drives by. i just can't do it.
so whether i end up being a barista for two years in seattle, i'll do it. my mind is made up. thanks apartment building.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
still lovin it
ah, the new york times op-eds on a sunday. there is nothing i love more than taking some time off of reading or writing, doing homework or writhing in pain after a rough saturday night, than reading the times. and although i'm not as high-brow of those intellectuals who get the times delivered to their house, or actually have time to attempt reading the entire sunday edition (if you know who these people are, tell them to get another hobby or more friends. or better yet, tell them to take some time off and watch a rerun of the 100 Greatest Songs of the 80s), i do still get the times online every day. some days i simply read the headlines and don't go any further. but sundays, oh sundays, i pore over the op-eds.
and it's not just because i happen to agree with most of them. it's because they are smart, thought provoking, and thankfully a break from everything else i'm reading.
i'm also still loving obama. the happiness has not worn off. and you're thinking, "sarah, get with it. he's got a lot of shit on his plate right now and you can't expect him to be the messiah." and i'm not. i'm just happy that we soon will have a smart man in office. in the words of nicholas kristoff, a smart op-ed guy today: "
"Barack Obama’s election is a milestone in more than his pigmentation. The second most remarkable thing about his election is that American voters have just picked a president who is an open, out-of-the-closet, practicing intellectual."
it feels so good to me that i am absolutely positive my president is smarter than me. it's comforting. and i love it.
and it's not just because i happen to agree with most of them. it's because they are smart, thought provoking, and thankfully a break from everything else i'm reading.
i'm also still loving obama. the happiness has not worn off. and you're thinking, "sarah, get with it. he's got a lot of shit on his plate right now and you can't expect him to be the messiah." and i'm not. i'm just happy that we soon will have a smart man in office. in the words of nicholas kristoff, a smart op-ed guy today: "
"Barack Obama’s election is a milestone in more than his pigmentation. The second most remarkable thing about his election is that American voters have just picked a president who is an open, out-of-the-closet, practicing intellectual."
it feels so good to me that i am absolutely positive my president is smarter than me. it's comforting. and i love it.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
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